Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Sex and Laughter: The Deep End



Today I put my run off until later in the day. By the time I got outside, the temperature was creeping towards 90. The sun, the sweat, and the thick air most definitely had the taste of summer. As I ran, my thoughts jumped all over the place, but eventually landed on the thought of swimming on a lazy, hot, summer day.

Swimming is one of my most favorite things to do. I've always felt so at home in the water, so free. I just love it. As I plodded through the run, I thought about this pastime of mine and a realization drenched me, much like the sweat that stung my eyes as it dribbled into them.

When I swim, I love the deep end of the pool. I know some people are more comfortable easing into the pool, a red painted toe nail at a time, but there is something to be said for just taking a running start towards the deep end. As feet leave the ground, the breathe intakes and you close your eyes and take the plunge. It's breathtaking and shocking and not always pleasant, but once your head breaks the surface, a grin is plastered on your face. There is a certain satisfaction in just going for it.

For me, the deep end holds a world of opportunity and possibilities. Excitement courses through my body as I tread water there. Why be safe and stay in the shallow end? That's for babies with inflatable floaties on their arms. Not me.

Think about it. Where is the diving board? The deep end. You can climb up the stairs to the board, walk the length of the plank, let your waterlogged toes curl around the non skid, scratchy surface of the board and look down. Whether it's a high or low board, looking over the edge is thrilling. As you bend your knees and bounce, gaining momentum, your heart races at the thought of springing forth and catapulting yourself into the water. It's an awesome feeling!

Slides spit forth into the deep end, as well. You propel yourself down the slide and are haphazardly deposited into the deeper waters, legs askew, eyes bugging open in anticipation. You can't do this in the shallow end of the pool.

In the deep end, you have to work harder to tread water. You can't rely on the reach of the bottom of the pool to let you get complacent about where you are and what you are doing. It's work, but it's a satisfying, rewarding feeling to know that you are able and capable of maintaining yourself, your safety, your sanity in the deep end. Nothing feels better, despite the effort put forth.

I love the deep end of the pool. I love to take a breath, hold it tight, and dive under water. I'm an open eye swimmer, so I swim down towards the drain and stay under until I feel like my lungs will explode. My arms are free, my legs are light, my hair sways about my face as if I am a mermaid and I feel the most relaxed, peaceful feeling ever. It's quite hard to achieve this nirvana in the shallow end of the pool.

I realize the deep end isn't for everyone. And that's fine. But in the deep end, I can dive in head first and engulf myself. When I dive, I don't have to worry about hitting my head or any other obstructions, it's a free fall into myself.

So, yeah, this summer...you'll find me in the deep end. Sometimes I'll be treading water, exhausted, frustrated even, but holding steady and strong. Sometimes I'll be down near the drain, gliding, swaying, at one with the water. Other times I'll be mid air, a look of exhilaration on my face as I prepare for the splash. No matter the style or method of my madness, the deep end is it for me. It's my ultimate dream for you to join me there.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Sex and Laughter: Just Dance


I'm in a pissy, pouty mood and I'm trying to keep my mind occupied. I tried watching some t.v., but just couldn't stay interested. I jumped over to the computer to peruse the internet or find some friends online, but no one is here and my favorite spots on the world wide web are just not doing it for me tonight.

I just put on my Ipod and set it to shuffle. It's always amazing to me how much music can help my mood. I don't want to mope tonight, I want to feel great and with the help of some fortunate shuffle selections, I think I'm beginning to perk up a bit.

I have a friend who says he doesn't dance. I guess there are people in the world who don't dance, although I simply cannot imagine that concept. When I hear a song that has a great beat, I find it impossible NOT to dance, or sway, or at the very least bob my head to the rhythm.

My most favorite dancing is when I'm alone. The song starts, I crank up the volume, close my eyes and let loose. I'm completely free and uninhibited and it feels amazing. It never fails to help me shake the blues. But, fear not, I don't limit my dancing to solo attempts, I will dance with anyone who wants to groove to the beat with me. For me, I just have to have music that makes it harder for me to stay sitting than to get up and move.

A confession is that lately, I've been wanting to dance to Lady Gaga. I have no clue who she really is, but when I hear her as I am in the car changing the radio stations, I stop. "Just Dance" is an example of a song that I must dance to. It isn't a new song and it's not great music, I know. I don't really care about that though because for at least 4 minutes or so, I can just escape my mind, my mood and enjoy the moment.

The music that I like to dance to doesn't have to be amazing or critically acclaimed. The only real criteria is that it takes my mind off whatever I happen to be stewing over and let's me go someplace simple, carefree and fun. As Lady Gaga says, "Just dance, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm". Who knew words of wisdom could be so simple? I feel much better already.